The Power of Cookies!!!!
by pinkdragonflame
Summary: Yet another purely-insane fic...
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own Austin Powers or Fushigi Yuugi. If I did, I wouldn't have to post fics about them would I^^?

It seems like a pretty ordinary day in the FY world. The birds are chirping, the river is flowing, and the grass is swaying in the breeze. But in a secret underground hiding place (Chiriko: Otherwise known as a _lair_) somewhere in Konan, certain things are occurring that are VERY strange indeed.

Mitsukake: *from Evil-Genius-type chair*………*pets Tama-neko*

Chiriko: Mitsukake says that he is an evil doctor who is going to take over the Seiryuu Cookie Factory in Kutou and use the chocolaty goodness of the cookies to rule the world.

Tasuki: Are you a *beeping* psychic or something?

Chiriko: No, I am Mini-Mits, the clone of Mitsukake (A/N: imagine Chiriko with Mitsukake's hairstyle!! XD), who helps him feed Tama-neko. And take over the world too, I suppose.

Nuriko: So...you want us to help you take over a cookie factory?

Mitsukake: *slow nod*

Chiriko: Yes, that is his intention. Any questions?

Tamahome: *raises hand* Do we get paid for this?

Chiriko: Technically, if we provided you with a customary salary of one ryou per hour, it would prove to be inadequate by local standards and would thus command an increase in revenue which would prove to be-

Tamahome: Erm…so was that a yes or a no?   

Chiriko: Your proposition is declined.

Tamahome: Huh?? 

Chichirii: He means no na no da!

Tasuki: Boy Tama, you're not only slow but stupid as well…

Mitsukake: ………….

Chiriko: Mitsukake demands that you do not insult the name of Tama-neko. From now on, Tamahome is to be called 'Butterfly'!

Tamahome: Huh????? What does a butterfly have to do with me??

Chichirii: Nothing no da…

Tasuki: You sure as heck don't look like a *beeping* butterfly to me…

Nuriko: I could change that! *assaults Tama with make-up kit* 

Tamahome: NOOOOOO!!!!!

Chichirii: Wow Butterfly-san…you look a lot like Tomo no da!!!

Tasuki: Nah…he's worse…

Tamahome: *frantically rubbing away the red and gold smears* Shaddup…

Mitsukake: ………………………

Chiriko: Mitsukake says that you'll all be magically transported to the factory, where you'll meet an assortment of assassins and may never come back alive.

All: oO

Tasuki: Isn't he supposed to be our friend or something??

(There is a bright flash of light. Chichirii & co. find themselves standing outside an electric pink building with the words "Seiryuu's Property, No Chickens Allowed" printed on one side)

Nuriko: Well…I guess this is the place…

(Doors swing open creakily. Chichirii & co. walk in)

Chichirii: Ooh…creepy no da…

Tasuki: Hey…check this out! *reads sign* Seiryuu Cookie Factory. No flash photography please. Be advised that any attempt to take over, especially if it is at the order of the evil doctor Mitsukake, will result in severe, and probably fatal, damage to your health. Thank you, and have a nice day.

Tamahome: -_-;; Okay, who votes for leaving right now??

(Lights turn on. Nakago and the rest of the Seiryuu seven appear)

Nakago: Bwahahahaha!!! I knew you Suzaku losers couldn't pass up a chance like this!!! I've been waiting for you…and now it's time for revenge!!!!

Nuriko: But we've never come here before…

Amiboshi: -_-;; We know…

Suboshi: -_-;; We've been camping out here for three months already…

Miboshi: Way to be secretive guys…*shakes head*

Tasuki: Three *beeping* MONTHS??!! You guys must be really desperate…

Soi: And girl. Why does everyone always forget the girl???

Hotohori: Whatever…we have come to take over the Cookie Factory, and take over the Cookie Factory we shall!!

Nakago: And what in the name of Seiryuu's frilly pink tutu makes you think that I'm gonna let you do that??

Chichirii: Because of this no da! 

(There is a flash of red light, and Miaka appears on a chain, drooling and gnashing her teeth)

Suboshi: oO Isn't she your Miko??

Ashitare: Even _I_ am more refined. *chases tail*

Chichirii: Anyway no da, she hasn't eaten in five hours. And this IS a cookie factory no da.

Nuriko: So surrender now, or your cookies will be demolished in twelve seconds flat!!

Nakago: Ha! And you expect us to believe you??

Tamahome: No really, we're serious about this one.

Tomo: Krakakaka!! I can handle this one. *casts illusion and Miaka begins chomping on the air*

Miaka: Cookies!! ^_______^ Mmmmmmmmmm…..

(A large puddle of drool begins to form)

Nuriko: Eew! Gross!

Hotohori: Don't let it touch my shoes!! *clambers on top of Tamahome*

Tamahome: I hope you're gonna pay for the ride…

Tasuki: This is *beeping* disgusting!!! LEKKA SHIENN!!! *Tessen splutters and goes out with a POP* *BEEP* Miaka, when's the last time you used mouthwash??!

(The puddle grows into a lake, which soon becomes an ocean. Soon, all (well, most of) the seshi are piled on top of Nakago, who is balancing on a table that is floating around)

Tomo: AHH!!! We're all gonna fall in!!! Then what'll happen to my make-up?

Nuriko: And my hair!

Hotohori: And my face!!!

All three: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! 

Nakago: Stop moving up there before I throw you in myself.

Tomo: But Nakko-kun…

Nakago: SHUT UP!!!

(Chichirii is floating on the kesa (kasa??), having tea with Miboshi, who is also hovering above Miaka's latest creation. Ashitare is splashing about in the gunk and having the time of his life)

Soi: That's horrible…I may be scarred for life!! Nakago! Comfort me!!

Nakago: I'm a BIT preoccupied at the moment…

Soi: *sniff* 

Suboshi: What are we DOING??! Tomo, just get rid of the stupid illusion so Miaka will stop eating and drooling!!

Amiboshi: Now why didn't I think of that??

Tomo: Erm…I can't…

All: WHAT??! WHY????!!!

Tomo: We-eeell…I sorta dropped Shin in…there…when I was trying to get on Suboshi's shoulders.

All: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

(And so, the seshi were stuck there for a week until Miaka left and the slobber dried up)

Nakago: Oh sweet Seiryuu how my legs hurt…*plops down on floor*

Chichirii: Daa! That was enjoyable no da^^

Miboshi: I think I ate one too many crumpets…

(Ashitare prances by, showering everyone with dribble)

Suboshi: DARNED DOG!!! *uses Ryuuseisui on Ashitare* DIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

(Ashitare now has a big hole in him. Everyone pretends not to notice)

Nakago: If ya still want it, the Factory is all yours.

Nuriko: Really?

Nakago: Well…yeah. Who wants a slime covered cookie factory anyway? We could always move out HQ to the Caramel Making Plant and wait for you there. 

Chichirii: Why…that's awfully kind of you no da…     

Nakago: Whatever…cookies are bad for your teeth anywayz…*he and the rest of the Seiryuu disappear*

Tasuki: Well…we've finally got the *beeping* factory…can we *beeping* GO already??!

(And so, Mitsukake used the cookie factory to manufacture lots and lots of double chocolate chip cookies, which he used to bribe Suzaku into making him Emperor of Konan. From there, he used his tremendous cookie power to overcome the rest of the world, and made himself KING!! With Mini-Mits and Tama-neko at his side, of course. But, unfortunately for Hotohori, this also meant the he got demoted, and he became Mits' personal cat-washer)

The (very insane) end.

Ideas? Comments? Suggestions? Juz click the lil blue button below. ^-^


	2. The Trouble With Sweets...

Disclaimer: Based on Disney's Lilo and Stitch (sorta), which I don't own. And while I'm at it, I don't own the FY characters either…wish I did tho…*eyes light up as I imagine all sorts of torturous activities I could put them thru* A picnic on the moon…now there's an idea…

A not-so-long time ago, in a big space ship far far away from Earth, an Evil Doctor Mitsukake, and his accomplice, Mini-Mits (No, I don't own Austin Powers ^^) are on trial for the illegal creation of Experiment Chiwichinoda, otherwise known (for the sake of convenience) as Experiment 626. See? No letters, just numbers. Convenient, ne^^?

Miaka: I am the Supreme High Chancellor In Command of this Space Ship of Justice^^ Together with my most trusted advisor/watchdog, General Tama, *Tamahome growls something that sounds vaguely like "_who d'ya think I am? Ashitare?"_* we will ensure that we have…uh…*pauses, thinking* LUNCH!!

Chiriko aka Mini-Mits: Don't you mean justice? The proper instillation of fairness among illicit citizens, and the impartially of your righteous decision that hereby ensures the peace and tranquility of generations to come?

Miaka: That's what I said! 

Chiriko: Uh! *smacks head*

Mitsukake:………………..

Chiriko: Mitsukake says that Experiment 626 is a monster programmed to take over every chocolate manufacturing plant in the world, which he will combine with his amazing cookie force to rule the universe and all its creatures.

Miaka: Oooh…chocolate…hey! Wait a minute!! *strikes dramatic pose* You are trying to take away the very essence of life itself! I will not let you do that!! This "Experiment 626" must be encouraged at all costs!!!!!

Tamahome: Umm…Miaka…I think you meant 'stopped'… 'stopped at all costs'…

Miaka: That's what I said!

Tamahome: -_-;;

Miaka: Anyhow, let's see the cutie lil thingy^^!

Tamahome: _Monster!!! MONSTER!!!_

Miaka: That's what I said!

Tamahome: Ack!! *facefaults*

Riiight…and so, it came to be that the horribly transmogrified creature actually came into view by the public for the first time…

(Tourists appear with cameras, ooh-ing and ahh-ing as a curtain is pulled open to reveal-)

Tamahome: oO Chichirii??!

SD Chichirii in a tank: Daaa…^^;;;

Soi: Oh my Seiryuu that is HORRIBLE!! *faints*

Chichirii: Da?

Mitsukake:……………….

Chiriko: No, not Chichirii! He's Experiment 626!!! So says Mitsukake, the Doctor Genius, and we all know we can't argue with that, can we^^?

(Crickets chirp in background)

Chiriko: -_- Evil people…

Chichirii: Daaa…*teleports away*

All: oO

Miaka: He's…GONE*dramatic music plays*!!!  Good, can we have lunch now? Being a galactical ruler is very tiring you know?

Tamahome: Iie…-_-;;; First, you must stop the dreaded Chi-I mean-Experiment 626 before he takes over the world chocolate supply!

Miaka: Why?

Tamahome: Because then you won't have any more chocolate…

Miaka: WHAT??!! I must bring this conspiracy to a halt!!! *picks up intergalactic cell phone* Yo? Nakago? Get yer troupe o' freaks n get that there Experiment-thing pronto, capishe?? 

Tamahome: OO That was weird…

Miaka: Now that that is done with…*phone rings* Hello? Nuuriiiiii-chan!!! Ooo I missed yoooou sooooo much!!! You would never believe what happened to me today! Okay, see first I was on my way to the mall when-

Tamahome: -_-

Mitsukake:………………

Chiriko: BWAHAHA!! Mitsukake wishes all you foolish mortals a good day, and reminds you to wash behind your ears and eat all your broccoli!! 

Mitsukake:…………….

Chiriko: Oh! And he also says that if you see Hotohori and Tama-neko, tell them to meet us at the Cocoa Islands where we are setting up our new, never before seen base.

Tamahome: I'l…er…pass the message to them…

Chiriko: Thanks^^! *the two disappear with identical evil cackles*

Tamahome: OO I need a vacation…

Meanwhile, on Earth…

Tasuki: I'll *beeping* kill anyone who sees me in this *beeping* grass skirt…*marches to the dog pound angrily* Stupid *beeping* authoress if she wasn't half-dragon-

pinkdragonflame: *popping out from behind a tree* Technically, I'm a third of a dragon.

Tasuki: Like I *beeping* give a *beep*!! I can't take it!! *tries to remove flowery headband* This is *beeping* TORTURE!!!

pinkdragonflame: May I remind you that you are currently unarmed-

Tasuki: *yanking on grass tufts at wrists* Grrrf!!! Wha tha??!! Didja *beeping* superglue these things on or something??!!!

pinkdragonflame: And _very_ vulnerable to fire-

Tasuki: *pulling on necklace* GETOFFGETOFFGETOFF!!!!

pinkdragonflame: And in the middle of a street. Which isn't exactly the best of places to go stripping… 

Innocent bystanders: OO

Tasuki: Gah!! _Fine…_*stops struggling* Stupid undersized gecko…

pinkdragonflame: I'm a Charmander! Not a gecko!! Humph!! *pouts*

Tasuki: Bleh…

pinkdragonflame: P Anywayz, go meet your new dog.

Tasuki: Why the *beep* should I? I hate dogs…horrible great slobbery creatures…

Byakko: *appearing out of nowhere* I support that!!

Tasuki: oO Dragon…

pinkdragonflame: Don't look at me^^…*walks off into a plot hole, whistling *

Tasuki: *Beep*!

Byakko: What's the matter? You look as though you've seen a ghost…

Tasuki: *Beeping* right…

Byakko: *shrugs* Anyway, I was wondering if you could help me? You see, my lil bro Suzaku is currently under the rule of the Evil Doc Mitsukake who has him working for cookies. Seiryuu's being paid jellybeans and Genbu's got a lifetime supply of caramel. They have all been transformed into sugar-high drones of utter hyperness, and basically, I'm the only sane one left!!

Tasuki: *snaps fingers* Suddenly, it all makes sense!!

Byakko: It does?

Tasuki: Yep…I'm surrounded by idiots…

Byakko: Hey…I'm not kidding; I really need your help!

(Suzaku and Seiryuu appear, giggling insanely)

Suzaku: Hehehe…*hic* we must abduct the furry one and bring him to the Evil Doctor Mitsukake, otherwise known as our boss!

Seiryuu: Hahaha…jellybeans…goooood…*hic*

(They each grab a arm and drag a kicking and screaming Byakko away)

Tasuki: Whatever…

Chichirii: Daaa!

Tasuki: Huh? 

Chichirii: Daaaa da daa da da!!!

Tasuki: You. Say. You're. Experiment. 626.

Chichirii: *non nod* Daaa da da da daaa daaaaa!

Tasuki: You. Are. Gonna. Help. Me. Save. The. Universe.

Chichirii: Da^^! 

(There is a bright flash of light and Tasuki finds himself teleported to Evil Mits' Secret Tropical Island Lair That No One Should know about)

Tasuki: oO

(Mits is sitting on a 12ft high golden throne with piccys of smiley faces painted all over it. On his left is Suzaku, on his right is Seiryuu, and in front of him is Genbu. They're all in their human forms and are pigging out on cookies, jellybeans and caramel respectively. Byakko is in licorice chains in a secluded corner, and is trying to eat the floor without being noticed)

Mitsukake:……………………………………

Chiriko: You're too late, 626! We've already enslaved three of the world's greatest powers in our glucose-induced goodness! With the completion of the final phase of our plan, we will be UNSTOPPABLE!!! WAHAHAHAHA!!!! 

Chichirii: Daa…

Tasuki: Izzat all ya can *beeping* say??!!

Chihirii: Well, not really no da, but I gotta keep to the script. Da…

Tasuki: GAH!! _Fine…_

(Nakago & co. bursts through the door. In army-type clothes with a variety of weapons, I might add)

Nakago: *brandishing bazooka* We've got you now, Evil Mits!!!

Suboshi: *Ryuuseisui in hand* That's right! Hand over the gods-

Amiboshi: *waving flute around* And nobody gets hurt!!

Tasuki: oO

Mitsukake:………………………………………..

Chiriko: Unfortunately for you, we've already predicted this attack! *holds up jarful of chocolate chip cookies* Suzaku! Eliminate the intruders!

(The cookies glow red. Suzaku giggles and blasts Nakago & co.-)

Buzz Lightyear: To infinity, and beyond!! (And no, I don't own it)

Tasuki: oO

Chichirii: Daa…*sniffle*

Miaka: *crash landing in Space Ship of Justice* COOOOKIES!!! JELLLYBEANS!!! CARAMELLLL!!! *eats it all faster than you could say 'Help! She's eating it all!'*

Suzaku: oO

Seiryuu: Oo

Genbu: OO

Byakko: Mmmmm…I mean-YAY!! I'm saved!!!

Tasuki: Well, now that that's *beeping* over, can I get out of these *BEEPING* CLOTHES??!!!!!!!!!

(And so, Mitsukake's evil plans were thwarted by the brave Tasuki, Chichiri and ***_coughMiakacough_***. Suzaku, Seiryuu, Byakko and Genbu went back home and lived happily ever after. Well, apart from the terrible stomachaches and the countless dentist visits their meano fairy godmother Taiitsukun made them go for. Miaka suffered about the same fate, and had to go an entire two hours without eating anything at all because she was so full. Tasuki finally got out of the Hawaiian outfit, and 626 dyed his hair pink. Hotohori, the Evil Cat's washer, got a new job as a shoe-shiner)

The (second very insane) end.

Ideas? Comments? Suggestions? Juz click the lil blue button below. ^-^__


End file.
